I’m a serial planner and a serial list maker. I need to plan it out, map it out, and work it out on paper and in my mind. But what happens in most cases is not what you’d expect. Instead of actually following through with the plans I make (which are pretty great most times), I am paralyzed. Nothing happens. I don’t make a move. I don’t move forward. I just sit on the plans and stress over not being able to change my life. Why do I do this? I do not know. I do not know what it is that keeps me stagnant. Maybe I’m comfortable. Maybe I’ve given up. Maybe I’ve lost the excitement in life. Maybe I’ve lost my passion. I don’t know what it is, but I plan to kick it to the curb this year.
So far, I’ve tackled some serious goals this year and towards the end of last year. I joined a worship band, shared my music and singing online, started this blog, registered my domain, and have ventured into taking my eBay business to the next level. I’m stretched THIN. Right now, I have very little time to myself. Being alone seems like a distant memory. My toddler is always going, my twins are always active, and the breaks I have are spent working, planning, or trying to decompress.
It’s not easy being a single parent. In fact, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. All of my plans seem to be on hold or constantly changing. Do I have dreams? Absolutely. Are there big things I want to accomplish? You better believe it. But it just seems that this season of my life is requiring me to slow all the way down and only focus on a few manageable tasks.
God gives us enough grace for 24 hours. That’s all we get. We don’t get to borrow from tomorrow or next week. We can’t cheat or bargain for more. We have to do what we can with what we have right now today. We have to make the best of each day. We have to get the most out of each moment. 2017 has forced me to put my life into perspective. What can I do? What do I have? What can I manage right now? Those things are my focus. I cannot save the world or change everything right now. I cannot do all the things on my endless to-do list today. I can, however, take my time to slow down, listen to the voice of God, and do what I can.
Breaking my life down into manageable chunks seems to be the best system so far. I may not be able to clean the entire room today, but I can wash and dry the clothes. I may not be able to fix the entire car with this month’s budget, but I can get the oil changed this week. I may not be able to teach my baby her entire ABCs this week, but we can focus on the letter A. I had to make the decision to not have it all together all the time. I won’t always be on time to every event. In fact, I cannot even attend everything I am invited to. But, I can do my best. I can put forth my best effort. And if I need to rest, I rest. If I need a day off, I take that day off.
I had to figure out a way to make money online without killing myself. I had to and still need to figure out a way to pay rent without being outside of my home 8-10 hours a day. What a task that has been! So far, I’ve managed to make a few hundred dollars on eBay. I’ve been able to become an independent contractor for a company I found online and a substitute teacher for a local Christian school. So far, I’ve learned how to manage my money so that I am no longer chasing it, but dictating and controlling it. Paying my tithes regularly has been life changing. I actually never run out of the cash I need (keyword “need”). The ultimate goal is to be location independent, government assistance independent, and financially free. Am I there yet? Nope. Am I on the way? Absolutely.
This entire post is simply a way for me to see my progress and encourage myself to keep going. Maybe it will help you too. Hang in there. The best is yet to come (and so are more blog posts)!